Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Little Cody
I haven't been open to many people with what I am about to write, but I have been having many thoughts about it lately. Yesterday Bailey put her arms around my tummy and said "its okay baby." I am not pregnant by any means but I believe that children are very close to the veil. I feel I am very close to the veil through my dreams. I had a dream awhile ago that my family and I were shopping. I was trying to leave and everyone kept saying, "hello you have a son, you cannot leave him", "go get your son." In my dream this little boy was about three or four years old and all the rest of my children were the same age as they are now. I have also had two experiences while I am about to fall asleep, I hear little footsteps come up to the side of my bed, I hear a whisper of "mommy," I turn around to look and no one is there. People might think I am crazy, heck I think sometimes I am crazy, but I know there are things trying to tell me something. I am definitely in denial because having three kids is stressful and now I have a fourth. Who decided this? Did I really pick this life? I think we all think that sometimes and I always have to think, it could be worse. I have told many people that I know if I got pregnant again I would have a boy. In fact as the girls grow out of their clothes I give it away. I have gotten rid on all my girl things. I just have thought lately, do I have to have this kid soon? Why do these things keep happening all the time lately? Is it just reminding me there is another and I can take my time or does this have to happen now? When I got pregnant with the twins and I didn't know yet I was having twins, I had a talk with God and told him that if I was suppose to have more than two kids that he'd better package them now. So when I found out I was having twins I thought that was it. On the operating table my doctor asked if I wanted my tubes tied and I couldn't give him a straight answer. So of course that didn't happen. I guess we will see where time takes us. Maybe someday we will have a little Cody.
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2 comments:
Liesl,
Wow. Your own 2 year old knows that a baby is coming. Maybe not this year, but in the future. I think that you and Cody will know when the time is right. I know that your hands are full right now.But, you are still so young that the future is still unknown. Keep praying and you'll know. Your dreams are indeed trying to tell you something. Your dreams have been amazingly coming true. How neat though that your dad, and my Taylor are preparing for him to come. I want you to know that you have been an amazing friend through everything and I will be there for you. Keep in touch.
Juls
Oh my... I was expecting by the end of the post to have some breaking news..! Well I am right there with you as you know. I think that we just have to give into what we think is the right thing to do. So if it is meant to be, it will and the timing will come to you. At least that is what I tell myself.
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